Tuesday 6 September 2016

Creative writing

Nature Poem
Seasons of Love


This is a poem of the seasons of love.


The summer came and I think about you nearly everyday,
The day eventually comes to an end, I’m lying on my bed staring at the ceiling
Thinking about you once again.
The good vibes come to me again and I feel like I am on top of the world but it still doesn’t feel the same.


The leaves fall, orange and yellow.
The leaves relate to the colour of my love for you, the colours that are close to the colour I want but the red isn’t there yet.
I look around but you're not there,
I feel lost.


Ice cold, stone cold, my heart is stone cold.
All I want to do is cuddle up in the warmth with you,
I’m stuck inside the cold hearted forcefield,
Ignoring all of your words.
Not talking to anyone.


A new season once again,
A new life for us, new feelings.
You're chasing after me, I slow down.
I don’t know if I will be able to speak to you again
After all that happened.


By Ellie Brown.



Short Story


Spirit Mayhem


In a village near South Yorkshire, there lived a 12 year old british girl her name was Lucy.
Lucy was a very polite girl until one night, she heard creaks and loud unusual noises coming from the living room downstairs. Lucy got out of her bed very carefully and tried not to make even a single noise, she got to her bedroom door and there was no noise at all coming from the living room. All of a sudden a mist of white dust came towards Lucy, she reached out to the white mist. The white mist came flying towards her, Lucy fell on the floor while she tried to duck.


SMASH! Her jewelry box was on the floor, Lucy ran over to her jewelry box she opened the jewelry box and the little ballerina was twirling around inside, the ballerina was parallel looking at Lucy straight in the eyes. Lucy felt something touch her shoulder a cold breeze, Lucy turned around looking at the white mist Lucy screamed at the top of her lungs in fear. The white mist travelled into Lucy, all of a sudden it wasn’t the same polite Lucy it was a possessed demon that had been living in this house for many years.


The demon was controlling Lucy, Lucy tried to get out of the demon but there was no way out. First the demon walked to Lucy’s parents bedroom and tapped on Lucy’s Mum and the demon spued out blood from their evil insides. Lucy’s Mum was in fear and terror, the blood had an infection in it, the aftermath of the infection is whenever someone gets spewed on by a demon they go to hell.
Lucy’s Mum thought it was Lucy so she tried to speak to her, the demon inside of Lucy marched downstairs to the living room and smashed every antique like there was no tomorrow.


KNOCK! KNOCK! There was someone knocking at the door so the demon marched to the door, the demon opened the door and standing outside to door was the famous Ghostbusters with there weapons to try and catch the demon. The demon flew out of Lucy straight away as the Ghostbusters were trying to catch the spooky haunted demon, Lucy ran up stairs to her parents room but something was rather strange, the window was open and her Mother wasn’t there. Lucy felt frightened and suspicious.


It turned morning and there was still no sign of Lucy’s Mum, Lucy walked downstairs to the living room and she peaked through inside the keyhole of the door handle, there was no sign of anyone. She walked back upstairs to her parents bedroom and her Dad was still fast asleep in bed. Lucy decided to go and wake her Dad up, she turned her dad over and her dad’s face was inside out. Lucy ran to the bottom of the stairs in fear, she tried to get out the front door it was locked, she tried the back door it was locked she even tried to get out the window, the window was like it was superglued.


DONG! The big clock struck, Lucy gasped and turned around to be facing the white mist once again. She ran to the bottom of the basement and hid behind the secret door, she slammed the door as hard as she could and locked the door very quickly. SLAM! The basement door shut, Lucy was very scared so she curled up into a ball in a small cardboard box without even making a sound. Lucy heard footsteps coming towards her, she saw dark shadows under the crack of the secret door.


The door opened very slowly, Lucy’s heartbeat was beating really fast then the creepy shadow opened the cardboard box which was the box that Lucy was in. Lucy saw light and hands opening the cardboard box. LUCY! Shouted the creepy dark shadow, Lucy looked up and the creepy shadow wasn’t as creepy as she thought it would be, standing behind the cardboard box was someone she loved with all her heart it was her Mum! Lucy jumped out the box with excitement and hugged her so hard like she couldn’t breathe. Lucy asked her Mum
“Where have you been, you weren’t in your bedroom as I last saw”


Lucy’s Mum replied and said, “I was looking for you sweetheart”. Lucy looked puzzled. Mum asked Lucy,  “What on earth were you thinking? What happened?” Lucy was still lost in her head, while she was trying to figure out what actually happened, Lucy couldn’t even speak a word she was that flabbergasted. Mum asked Lucy if she was hungry or not, there was still no reply from Lucy. Lucy just decided to go to bed and sleep all of this madness through. KNOCK! KNOCK! There was someone behind Lucy’s door, the door opened and it was her Dad to come and wake Lucy up. Lucy jumped out the bed and raced to her dad to jump and hug him, Lucy didn’t let go of her Dad at all she was nearly strangling him because she was that excited to see him. Lucy’s Dad carried Lucy down the stairs to the kitchen to have breakfast with the whole family, they had golden crisp pancakes with luscious golden syrup. Lucy thought and thought about last night and she decided just to forget about it she said it was just all a dream.


The End
By Ellie Brown


Short Poem


I have kicked your
new soccer ball
into
the tree


And which
you were going
to play with
after lunch


Forgive me
I was having
so much fun
Sorry…

2 comments:

  1. Lots of lovely writing Ellie, which I enjoyed reading. You demonstrate a strong range of ideas across your writing portfolio, and I especially like the powerful simplicity of your last poem, and I could imagine you not being sorry at all... I do want to ban you from using a dream to finish off a story - I think you can stretch your narrative imagination differently next time.
    Ideas: 8
    Writing conventions: 6
    Vocab & language features: 8
    Structure: 8
    Overall: 5B
    Marking rubric: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zm837DsNpbGJScGAqe7N1P3DCbCM_qQTrxD1HKULI1U/edit?usp=sharing

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  2. Hey Ellie. I really enjoyed reading your writing, especially your nature poem. You have related the seasons well to feelings. Next time please don't kill your writing with 'the dream' ending. I ban my kids in my class from using it, you could definitely extend your writing and finish it off creatively (although I know it's a lot easier to say, "and then I woke up". I used to do it all the time!) Keep up the great work smell, I'm proud of you x

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Thank you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful feedback.